People like to ask me, am I attached? The answer is no. The next question, "Why?" Well, guess not only friends around me are interested about this topic, my mother too is so keen to know about it. Frankly speaking, I am curious too. Lol.
Why suddenly talk about this topic? I read this article today which explains it all. I literally agree with it, and I think I should blog it to remind myself, 'Never settle for less'.
If you are lazy to read the whole article, I would like to summarize it. Basically, it discusses about 'Things you shouldn't ever have to apologise for in a relationship'.
1. Being yourself
2. Wanting time by yourself
3. Your dreams
4. Your friends
5. Your values and beliefs
6. An honest opinion
7. Your faith
8. Your past
How does this article relate to 'Who is my Mr. Right?' I would say these are the criteria which I have been looking for, I am longing to meet an understanding partner. A person who loves me for who I am. So far, I haven't met a person who meet these criteria yet.
After being single for a period, I found that I was so tired in the past. I lost myself by trying so hard to please people. Afraid of how people judge me, worry of not being accepted. I tried to be the person other wanted me to be, I forgot what I really want. My world was so small and I felt so small. And now, I feel so free and what I really want is just be happy and have a peace of mind. I always believe if a person truly loves you, he will accept all of you. Your weaknesses, family background, your job, your hobby, everything will be just so fine to him. And in front of him, you do not need to worry about being ugly, even when you snore or fart, you are cute. He is happy as long as you are happy. It is important to feel comfortable as he is the person you gonna spend the whole life with.
I do not deny, I was once a clingy girl friend. I know how a clingy person feels, their intention is good as they are just too deep in love with a person and wish to be with their partner all the times. However, I learned that overly clingy bring negative effects too. It might suffocate the partner. I wish to have my own space too, either being alone once in a while, catching up with friends, etc. I can't handle an over-possessive person.
Dreams, everyone has a dream (or more dreams...em.. maybe some don't have one..lol..) But, the idea is to have someone who is able to support you. When you wish to do something (of course it must not risk your relationship), either it is a big thing or small thing, you wish your partner to support you. Even with just a simple thought or an idea, I do not wish that the first thing I hear is a negative comment or restriction. I believe a mature person will advise about the pros and cons, he will then respect whatever decision I make. It is so tension, if you like to do something and without the support/ blessing from the partner, even you do it, you will feel bad or uneasy.
Losing friends after relationship is not necessary, we do not have to be extremely close but catching up once in a while is fine. I can't accept a guy who is over-protective, possessive and have strong jealousy. It's ok to feel insecure and jealous, but sometimes the outcome of being jealous can be disastrous. Without trust and understanding, you will feel worry and upset, and in this case being single is a wiser choice. Life is short, you should be happy. Keeping in touch with good friends once in a while has no harm, it not like going out everyday and leaving the partner alone all the times. Whereas life is unhealthy with just two person, we need friends and family too.
Next, values and beliefs. Everyone has different experience, we all grow up from different environment. The values and beliefs we hold will also not be the same. It is selfish to force someone to understand yours but you don't accept theirs. Again, respect is the key. Being open and able to respect the different of values and beliefs enable two persons to communicate. If you close your ears, only want other to listen and follow your way, this relationship would not last long.
Being honest to partner is good, but sometimes the truth is not something people like to listen. I wish to find a person that I can tell anything without worrying the consequences. I wish I am able to open up myself to the person I love.
Sometimes, we heard about some people giving up on their relationship due to differences in faith or religion. But, I believe true love has no limit. 'Respect' is still the key of love.
Lastly, if you love someone, accept everything of the person, including the past. We can't change the past and why would you miss someone you love because of that. People don't deserve to be abused for their past. Life does not come with instructions, we fall, we get up and we learn. If you love the person, why judge them, why blame them, why would you wanna see them suffer?
Well, these are just my thoughts after reading the article, there are no right or wrong. Everyone has their expectation while choosing partner, so do I. People always tease me that my requirements are set too high or I must be lying. But I wonder, do I really need a boy friend to fulfil my life? If he is not making me happier why should I attach? I am happy with my life, though sometimes being single can be lonely. However, it is much more happier than being with a wrong person. Life full of argument, drama, insecurity and loneliness when expecting someone's attention, aren't they all so exhausting? If you ask me when is the happiest moment in life, I would say now. Because, I am free from all those negative things I mentioned.
Of course, I look forward for the right person to come into my life, but I am not rushing. I know you are worth waiting for. Nowadays, it is not easy to meet a truthful person, and if we are lucky to meet a person like that, there are still many things to consider. For example, is he an understanding person, is he a reliable person, is he able to commit? After all, what a girl needs is a 'shelter', a family, a good husband. Without these promises, why do we need a marriage? At this era, as a modern woman, we are mentally and financially independent, we have friends and family, why we need a man if he is not able to promise the 'love' that we dream for?
Thanks for reading my blog again, I hope you enjoy reading it. xoxo~ =)
This song is so meaningful that it speak out my thought.
I hope you like it, below are the lyrics:
歌名：沒那麼簡單
演唱：黃小琥
作曲：蕭煌奇
填詞：姚若龍
專輯：簡單/不簡單
沒那麼簡單 就能找到 聊得來的伴
尤其是在 看過了那麼多的背叛
總是不安 只好強悍
誰謀殺了我的浪漫
沒那麼簡單 就能去愛 別的全不看
變得實際 也許好也許壞各一半
不愛孤單 一久也習慣
不用擔心 誰也不用被誰管
感覺快樂就忙東忙西
感覺累了就放空自己
別人說的話 隨便聽一聽 自己作決定
不想擁有太多情緒
一杯紅酒配電影
在周末晚上 關上了手機 舒服窩在沙發裡
相愛沒有那麼容易 每個人有他的脾氣
過了愛作夢的年紀 轟轟烈烈不如平靜
幸福沒有那麼容易 才會特別讓人著迷
什麼都不懂的年紀
曾經最掏心 所以最開心 曾經
沒那麼簡單 就能去愛 別的全不看
變得實際 也許好也許壞各一半
不愛孤單 一久也習慣
不用擔心 誰也不用被誰管
感覺快樂就忙東忙西
感覺累了就放空自己
別人說的話 隨便聽一聽 自己作決定
不想擁有太多情緒
一杯紅酒配電影
在周末晚上 關上了手機 舒服窩在沙發裡
相愛沒有那麼容易 每個人有他的脾氣
過了愛作夢的年紀 轟轟烈烈不如平靜
幸福沒有那麼容易 才會特別讓人著迷
什麼都不懂的年紀
曾經最掏心 所以最開心 曾經
相愛沒有那麼容易 每個人有他的脾氣
過了愛作夢的年紀 轟轟烈烈不如平靜
幸福沒有那麼容易 才會特別讓人著迷
什麼都不懂的年紀
曾經最掏心 所以最開心 曾經
想念最傷心 但卻最動心 的記憶
