The Change.

How have you been? Dear bloggie, dear reader, dear me... 

This is a peaceful night and I don't have any special feeling. Neither happy nor sad, just empty. Basically I am fine. Somehow, I think this is the best feeling- peace. 

The storm is over now, I'm glad that I survive. How long did I struggling? Fear of change, losing something/ someone, fear of uncertainty, fear of insecurity. They haunted me for so long, yet I was not brave enough to walk out from the shadow. Guess it's the typical mindset of girls, we have been holding too much on the past. We like to find excuses for ourselves, to convince that the past is irreplaceable and it's worth waiting for the improvement of current mess. I used lived in the past, stayed at the past happiness. I lied to myself, I suppressed my own sadness. I told myself, things will be better if I give in more. But, nothing worked out. Things get worse. Some advises I heard a thousand times, but I just could not accept the fact. And finally, I had to. 

People change, things change. Once change, nothing can turn back. How sweet we were, how much effort I tried to give in, it is meaningless. Some people, they are too realistic, especially guys. They don't remember who is the person who never leave them whenever they need someone. They forget who are there to give physical and mentally support to them, when they have nothing and are nobody. That's the fact, we just have to accept that. Stop asking why and wake up, I tell myself. He is still him, the same person, but inside him, he is another person now. The closest person hence become a person I barely understand. That deeply hurt me, but I accept it as part of my life. 

5 years and 6 months, from we were both students, until we stepped into working life. How many obstacles we had been through together. Despite the bad ending, I did learned things along the journey. I feel thankful for everything in the past, and I feel heartache for the end.     Love can only works with both parties' effort to maintain, relationship need two person to appreciate each other.  If the journey only left one person, it will be very tiring. The only thing to do is cry. 

Even though I was so reluctant to accept the truth, but I was force to wake up. And now I feel relieve as I am no longer live in suffering. I have peace. 

The toughest days had past. Days after separation, I had been doing things that I wanted to do and never have the courage to do, I have done some craziest things in life. I tried all kind of ways to kill my time. One of the craziest thing was I travelled a lot. Before broke up, I already started to travel alone. I browsed airasia everyday, all my mind was just wish to escape from reality. 

My holidays began. 

Bali

Bali is my favorite holiday so far. It is a very unique place, I wish to go back again.

The day I started to fall in love with this  lovely animal, Sea turtle. 

Me and my mom at Tanah Lot, I felt happy when I saw my mom was so happy that time. I went to Bali with mom. It was the first time I brought my mom for a trip. 

Jacyin spontaneously joined me at Bali. Thank for the great memory, will never forget the time we spent in Bali. It's awesome!

Singapore

My first time to fly alone. I went to Singapore to meet my friends. The trip was very short, but I was happy. I felt touched that everyone spent time to catch up with me. Thank for the warm hospitality, I miss my ex-housemates.

I was lucky enough to go a week before Singapore National Day, the fireworks were fascinating!

Langkawi

Very soon after Singapore, visited Langkawi. It was also a memorable trip, especially the unique concept of the hotel. The tube-concept hotel gave me a different kind of holiday experience. 

One of the best thing in Langkawi was the beautiful sunset. Totally overwhelmed in it.

Glad to know everyone more through this Langkawi trip. We had laughters, we had our stories. We created memories. :)

Bangkok

Went to Bangkok with Shyuan, finally I found my best holiday partner. 

Cute sheep that was so arrogant and greedy. Haha.. And actually they smelled yiak!

I realized that even travelling with friends, I can also have so much of funs. We don't have to rely on other to have happiness.

Dresses up myself. Prepared to go to one of the the world best sky bar. 

This place is awesome! Though it cost a boom to my pocket, but it's life time experience. I am glad that I am independ now.  I am no longer a little girl that hide behind someone. I create my own value, I decide my own happiness. 

Bandung

Another spontaneous trip, it's a totally different kind of experience. The view is fantastic and the weather is cooling. 

Glad to have all of you in this trip, I laughed non-stop. Yea, it's Shyuan and me again. Thanks to William and Shanny for the hospitality, the trip was great. 

I could not believe my eyes, it was the biggest crab I had ever seen in my life. It was BIG!!

Travelling makes my mind open. Seeing new things, meeting new people, I learned more about life. 

Cameron Highland 

Another short trip to Cameron with Florence, Aunee and Jane. It's was our first trip, we had talked a lot. It is so good that we are closer than before. 

At Lavender farm. A year before I came here, this year I came again but with different kind of feeling. 

A night spent at Bala's house. The garden and exterior were great, but the room was not as good as expected. 

Met this cute girl again this year and she was more friendly to me this time! :) I remember last year she ran away when I asked her to take pic with me. -.-

I bought flowers for myself, just love to see beautiful flowers. Thanks to Florence for the beautiful braids. :)

Kuala Lumpur

I purposely flied down to KL for Yiruma concert. This time I went with Jayjun and met Hui Leng there. It was a great catch up. 

Love this pic. :) I was having breakfast at TLJ, nice place to take pic but food is just ok.

Finally, I attended Yiruma's concert with Hui Leng. It was my first time to attend concert. But I fell asleep. Lol! Seriously, please don't get me wrong, Yiruma was too awesome, that the piano songs was too nice until I surrendered. It was nothing to do with boringness. Trust me! Lolol..:D

I decided to extend my trip for one more day at the last minute. I had made a right choice. :)

A gathering with my old old friends, so happy to meet everyone after so long. 

Met up with another long lost friend, Yinyin. Thanks for the day out, we went to cafe, movie and had a great chit chat. 

.....

After KL trip, I think it's time for me to slow down. I had been travelling too frequent. :D 

Oh ya! Something I would like to share is I had went to painting class. 

My first piece of work was Sunflower. The reason I picked to draw sunflower is because it represents love, happiness and loyalty. 

This is me today. I feel calm. I accepted what life gives me, I will stay strong. No doubt time will fade away everything. Give me more time, I will be better. They said things happen for a reason, let's look forward for a better tomorrow. 

Thanks for reading my blog, again. Hehe... Nitez nitez. :) 

P/s: When is my next holiday? :D